One of the sweetest things about having our first Thanksgiving here in our new home is how much everyone in our family helped to make it happen. My daughter, who was in charge of the dessert we collectively chose (carrot cake), buttered, traced, measured, and frosted. My husband acted as the most fabulous sous chef and official kitchen beautifier, and my two year old son made two different cranberry sauces for our feast. He proudly announced this to us at least twenty times an hour. It gave me a flashback.
Around the time of my first Thanksgiving in New York, having come for university, I had such a hard time just being here. Coming from Georgia, with its warmish weather and lush trees, I felt homesick for a home that no longer existed. My family had up and moved to California three days after I graduated from high school. It felt as though the ground was constantly shifting underneath me. And the ground was hard. It was concrete. It was cold and dirty.
A kind soul gave me a practice at this time to try and find the beauty in everything. Everything. Even, as he said, the dog poop on the sidewalk. At first, trying to find the beauty was impossible. My heart kept rebelling, kicking its little feet and throwing mini-tantrums, but slowly a new sight started to emerge. Over time and thirteen years later, I can see it, the beauty in everything around me. And, as it turns out, the dog poop was easy compared to some other things and people.
Yesterday, as the children and my husband were taking a pre-meal nap, I was left alone to iron the linens and set the table. As I pushed that iron back and forth, I was thinking about my ancestors, both the Native American and the Europeans, contemplating what happened when that blood mixed in them, in my grandparents, in my parents, in me, in my children. The heartbreak of a people leaving their home, of whole people brutally losing their home, and the way that they had to pick up and keep living.
I hope that I am bringing something through for them, healing something that rifted long ago. Coming out on the other side of all that pain and learning to heal what my ancestors passed to me, there has emerged something so precious: gratitude.
27/11/2009 at 2:36 pm Permalink
I am moved by your beautiful post, Cate. Love to you and the family!
27/11/2009 at 3:26 pm Permalink
That was a lovely post!
I know it's tough to start over in a new location- we did it so much while we were in the Air Force. Making new friends and a new life in each new place. It's tough. And NYC can be cold and unfriendly at times. Quite a change from Georgia!
But you have a loving family and I wish all of you a Happy Thanksgiving!
27/11/2009 at 6:47 pm Permalink
this was such a touching and amazing post. your family and children are so beautiful, that photo of your daughter kissing you was so heart wrenching and beautiful, as was everything else. you are truly blessed
happy (belated) thanksgiving to you and your family
xo
maya
28/11/2009 at 9:08 am Permalink
Gorgeous post, Cate! It's lovely to hear about your family. Finding the beauty in everything is so hard. I hope I get there someday.
What touching pictures! Wishing you an peaceful long weekend!
Vanessa xx
28/11/2009 at 12:56 pm Permalink
Finding the beauty in the ordinary is such a worthwhile practice though- isn't it? It's what makes it possible to center ourselves. Very thoughtful post. Love your ability to link the past to the future and find a common thread. Happy Holidays to you and yours Cate-
28/11/2009 at 1:47 pm Permalink
Such beautiful sentiments – happy belated Thanksgiving!
29/11/2009 at 4:40 pm Permalink
Lovely post and what a beautiful, Zen-like table setting. How important it is to feel and express gratitude for both the large and the small. Best to you and yours!
29/11/2009 at 6:06 pm Permalink
Beautiful family, beautiful meal, beautiful heart.
30/11/2009 at 4:43 am Permalink
Happy Thanksgiving! I thought you spend the weekend down here in Georgia?
30/11/2009 at 6:35 am Permalink
This is such a lovely post, Cate. Very special to have your first Thanksgiving in your new home.
30/11/2009 at 9:26 pm Permalink
your words are beautiful. your insight always takes me by surprise and i love the ride. besos dear cate.
01/12/2009 at 1:25 am Permalink
Happy belated Thanksgiving! The dishes look so delicious!! You have such a great family!!!
02/12/2009 at 3:04 am Permalink
A wonderful post! Sounds like you had a great Thanksgiving!